March 2011 Archives

The Need for Porn

  • Posted on March 29, 2011 at 11:01 pm

If you are male and you own a computer you absolutely have to have some porn on your hard disk (now, that’s a rude word). A German law blog has news about the views of the German police. The quoted text in the article explains that you are suspicious if your disk partitions are free of pornographic content. So do yourself a favour and download a couple of megabytes or gigabytes (they don’t mention how much will clear you of any suspected suspicious activity) of legal porn and store it in plain sight on your computer.

In case you want to leave some traces of devilish terror plots, just add some steganography. Here’s a little shell script that adds fortune cookies to your porn collection and encrypts them with randomly generated  passwords, so that you can’t even reveal the terror plot under torture:


cd $1

JPGS=$(find . -type f -name '*.jpg')

for FILE in $JPGS
 NAME=$(pwgen -s 16 1)
 /usr/games/fortune -l > /tmp/$NAME.txt
 steghide embed -cf $FILE -p $(pwgen -s 32 1) -e rijndael-256 cbc -z 9 -ef /tmp/$NAME.txt
 rm -f /tmp/$NAME.txt

You will need the steghide package, a beard and some Arabic phrases. The script is designed to process a whole directory given as the first argument. It will only process JPG images, so make sure you have plenty of them.

Failure is always an option

  • Posted on March 12, 2011 at 2:05 am

Blogging has been a bit neglected lately. This is due to the influence of crappy software and non-existent designs of Things™. Let’s get started with the Cloud. Once upon a day a server disappeared. Investigation yielded: The ISP has a problem and will fix it ASAP. The monitoring system kept sending alerts for two days. Further investigation yielded:

  • The ISP had fixed the problem. It involved a RAID controller and a filesystem, both probably corrupt.
  • Some (virtual) servers died in the process.
  • The ISP advised to recreated the deceased system with a fresh installation and backups.
  • We had backups. Most other Cloud Believers have not. Tough luck.

Then there’s IPv6. It runs smoothly in two local networks (these networks being not local anymore, NAT has to die). Apart from some applications which don’t get it everything’s ok with IPv6. Suddenly my ISP fiddles with the modem’s firmware, IPv6 at the other end of my last mile appear briefly, then they are gone again. This incident has left the MTU between my VPN server and me slightly changed, so that IPv6 tunnelling stalls. Reset the MTU to 1280, all works again.

Then there’s…ah, crap. I don’t care. I’m tired. Good Night.